Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Week 3


     Okay. Can I just share a really incredible experience I had this past week? On Monday night, I knelt down in the janitor’s closet right outside my room and said something along the lines of "Heavenly father, these past few weeks have been so hard. I've been trying to remain positive and stay focused, but have had a really hard time doing so. I was so sure before I left that this was what I was supposed to do, but now I'm not so sure. Do you really need me here? Is this really where I'm supposed to be?" 

     Miracle time. Prepare yourself.
     The next morning, I was sitting reading the Book of Mormon during personal study and noticed a little piece of paper folded up next to me on my chair. I opened it and "D&C 5-7, 12-13" was written on it. I looked over at my companion and asked "did you give this to me?" and she gave me a confused look and said no. I turned to the scripture anyway.
     This is what I read:

     5. Therefore, if you will ask of me, you shall receive...
     6. And now, as you have asked, keep my commandments, and seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion.
     12. ...I say unto thee, put your trust in the spirit which leadeth to do good...
     13. ...I will impart unto you of my spirit...which shall fill your soul with joy.

     I totally lost it. I have no idea where that little piece of paper came from, it wasn't my companion and she was the only one around at the time, but i KNOW it was an answer sent straight from a loving father in heaven to his daughter in distress. How unbelievably grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who listens to and answers prayers. He is so aware of each and every one of us. He really is.
     Needless to say, it’s been a pretty rough week. I haven’t been able to sleep...or eat...or stop crying ha-ha. When I first entered the MTC, I was told Satan would be doing everything in his power to get me to pack up and go home. Boy oh boy, was I told correctly. 18 months seem like an eternity right now. I've been plagued with all sorts of worries and concerns. I worry about everything I left behind. I worry about how things will be when I get back. I worry about being so far behind everyone else in my schooling. I worry about being a horrible missionary. Heck, I worry about my worries! I'm concerned they'll never subside and I’ll spend the next 18 months worrying and crying and feeling miserable all day every day.
     I read a scripture this week that has helped me a lot, though. It's in Alma 7.

     7. For behold, I say unto you there be many things to come; and behold, there is one thing with is of more importance than them all...the redeemer...

     That, coupled with verse 1 of Be Still My Soul has brought me much needed peace

     "Be still my soul: the Lord is on thy side. With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; in every change, he faithful will remain. Be still me soul, thy best thy Heavenly Friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

      There are lots of things being thrown my way right now. Lots of worries and concerns and fears and doubts, but there is NOTHING more important than the Savior. I know that as i continue to focus on and serve Him, I can trust that He'll "order and provide" for me.
      I do have to say, though, if you're gonna be sad...the MTC is the place to be. Everyone here cares SO. MUCH. Elder Crittenden knew things weren't going so hot and offered to give me a blessing. My 1st Counselors wife drove 30 minutes to come check up on me the other night. My branch president has stopped by multiple times to make sure I’m doing okay. Elder Warby gives me scriptures to read. Sister Hill pulls me aside and says prayers with me. Sister Henrie gives me pep talks. There is so much love here. It's incredible. 

         Okay. I'm done being depressing. Let me list some rockin' things about the MTC:
- P-day eve parties. No I will not expound.
- Movies. We all gather and watch super cheesy, lame movies like Legacy after our Sunday night’s So. Fun.
- Never having to lift a finger. The elders fight over who gets to open my doors and take my lunch trays after I’m done eating (and when other sisters ask, they say no. not even joking. and then i say something along the lines of "I'll take it for you!" and then the elders are like "ohhhh, no. You sit down Sister Terry. We'll get it"). Rock on.
- Weekly temple trips...the Provo temple is BEAUTIFUL. Holy cow I love it.
- Personal study. My favorite part of the day. 

- My district. We have so much fun. We laugh all the time...but we work really hard, too.
- The spiritual exhilaration. Seriously, it can’t be beat.

    That's all I have time for right now. 

    I love y’all so much.
    See ya in 18.

    Love, Sister Terry

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