Hey favorites!

     

      I took some time during personal study this past week to read the accounts of Jesus sufferings in the garden of gethsemane. Given the pretty difficult time I’ve been having, I hoped to find some comfort in these passages...and comfort I found.

     Luke 22 41-44 was particularly touching.

     Before performing the atonement, Christ asked for an out. He asked for heavenly father to take away the burden he was about to experience. God didn’t give him an out. He didn’t take away the trial. He did, however, send „an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening Him“.

I know heavenly father has been doing the same for me these past couple weeks. I know he’s been sending angels to help and uplift me...and this past week, he sent me one on THIS SIDE of the veil!! Sister Gardner. Oh my goodness. She came to Coburg for a split with me (led my first exchange! Ahh!) And it was just what I needed. Sister Gardner has been dealing with a lot of the same feelings/ emotions that I’m struggling with. One of the hardest parts about being out here is never having anyone to talk to. It’s a blessing, because I have definitely learned to rely on/ communicate more with the Lord, but it‘s also been a huge challenge...so it was nice to have sister Gardner around!!

     Okay. Wonderful story time. On our split, we planned on handing out fliers for our ward Christmas party in a complex that houses people from other countries...but when we got to sister Haase‘s house (who wanted to drive us over there/ help pass them out) she asked if we could drop one by a family that she’s super tight with first AND HOLY COW IT WAS AMAZING. I don’t even know where to begin.

     Umm...the family. Let’s start there. THEY ROCK. The parents are from Syria, but they’ve lived here in Germany for 15 years or so. They have three kids...one of which is a 3 year old son...I may or may not have spent 10 minutes on the ground playing cars with him...and it may or may not have been the highlight of my day. Anyway, they’re Muslim and absolutely 100% the sweetest people I’ve ever met in my entire life. They kept feeding us all this super delicious Middle Eastern food, so that just added to the whole experience.

     Next...sister Haase. SHE ROCKS TOO. Seriously, best missionary ever award goes to her. After inviting them to the Christmas party, she proceeded to invite them to Geminda Essen (which we have the 3rd Sunday of every month)...And then straight up invited them to join us at church every Sunday and said she‘d give them rides! LIKE OKAY THANK YOU SISTER HASSE FOR BEING THE MOST GLORIOUS CREATURE ON PLANET EARTH I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH

     And finally, the dad! When we were about to leave, we asked him if he knew anyone else that we could invite to the Christmas party and he took A WHOLE STACK of fliers, counted them, then said „actually, can I take a few more?“ and his wife invited 2 other families, too!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME. Anyway, as we were walking out, he said „We would love to have you sisters over again next week, let me give you our number so we can schedule something “AHHHHHHHHH OHHH MY GOSH IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE LIKE I ALMOST PASSED OUT. I still get giddy every time I think about it!!

 

     You know what other bible story has brought me much needed comfort this week? Christ calling His disciples to be fishers of men. In Matthew 4:19, He says „follow me, and I will make you fishers of men “The Lord didn’t say "almighty. Drop your nets, forget about fish and go feed my sheep. READY SET GO." Likewise, he didn’t say "Okay, Sister Terry, drop everything you’re doing, forget about home, boys, school and family and be a missionary and be a perfect one and be one RIGHT NOW. COME ON TIMES A TICKIN YOU ONLY HAVE 18 MONTHS GO GO GO!"

     No.

     He said "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men" or in other words..."Brooke Terry, obey my will. Go to Germany, and I will make you a missionary. It'll take some time, I know it will be hard for you to leave your family and friends behind, but be patient. Over time, I will make you a fisher of men. i will turn you into the missionary we both know you can be.‘

I am so grateful for Jesus Christ. I am grateful that because of his atoning sacrifice, I’m NEVER alone in anything that I go through.

I am grateful for his support, his patience, and his love.

I am thankful for the angels he sends me, both seen and unseen.

I love y’all so much.

And? I GET TO HEAR YOUR GLORIOUS VOICES IN T-1 MONTH! I CANT WAIT!

Love, Sister Terry. The Fisher of Men in the Making.

MY FAM (:

     In young women’s, we’d always go on boating trips. On one particular lake outing, we all decided we’d go cliff jumping. I was (still am) terrified of heights, but resolved to do it, anyway.

Well, I stood up on that cliff for quite some time. I couldn’t bring myself to jump! Countless times, I thought 'okay. This is it. I’m going to do it" and then I’d run to the edge...and then stop short and turn back. I remember the anxiety (BECAUSE HELLO CLIFFS= DEATH), as well as the frustration I felt (WHY CANT I JUST JUMP!?!)

     I was about to give up and walk back to the boat when sister white joined me on the cliff. The conversations between us went a little something like this:

     Her: okay Brooke. Come on. We’re jumping. Right now.

     Me: I can’t I can’t I cantttttt

     Her: yes, you can. Come on.

     Me: no really, I can’t.

     Her: no really, you can. And you will. Let’s go.

     And then she took me by the hand, counted to three...and we were off!! And? I let go of her hand right before the ledge.

     Well, sister white marched right back onto the cliff AFTER I COMPLETELY BETRAYED HER, held my hand WITH THE GRIP OF DEATH and practically drug me off the cliff with her.

     Right now, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of that cliff again. Talking to random people on the street, on the bus, on the train, in the store fills me with so much anxiety! Countless times, I’ve thought 'okay. This is it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to talk to this person'...and I’ll walk up to them...then stop short and turn back. Then comes the frustration- why can’t I just open my mouth!? I feel like such a failure! Such a coward! And the worst part? there’s no sister white talking be by the hand and helping (FORCING) me to overcome these feelings...SO HERE I AM AT THE TOP OF THIS CLIFF; A TOTAL BASKET CASE, COMPLETELY LOSING IT DUE TO FEAR AND FRUSTRATION. So just continue to keep me in your prayers. I can definitely feel the effects of all the ones offered on my beheld thus far. This week has definitely been much better than last, but I’m still having a rough time so PRAY PRAY PRAY: Danke.

 

     

     I got my first door slammed in my face this week! We went knocking and I walked up to my first door of the night, rung the klingel and this sweet old lady answered BUT SHE SHUT THE DOOR WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE WORD BEFORE I COULD EVEN FINISH INTRODCUING MYSELF. But guess what? We knocked on the next door and? Found a potential investigator!! So booyaa to that! We're going to have an appointment with him this week...so pray that goes well!

     I went on my first split this past week! I went to Neurenburg (THAT PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL). It was just a blast. Funny story: we were walking to an appointment and this American couple yells 'sisters!' from behind and then starts conversing with us. Apparently, my brain can no longer process the difference between English and German, because they asked a question and I responded auf Deutsch and I didn’t even realize it...until I noticed their blank stares. So that was pretty freakin’ awesome.

     Anyway, I love y'all so much. I am so grateful and blessed to have a family as wonderful as you...hope you have a great week! I pray for y’alls happiness and safety every day.

Miss you so incredibly much.

Love, Sister Terry

FAMILY

     Oh my goodness. I miss ya'll so much. In the MTC, I dreaded P-days. They stressed me out and made me incredibly homesick. Here in the field, however, they’re currently the only thing keeping me alive.

     I'm not going to lie, I’m struggling a lot right now. I just want to come home. I wake up each morning on the verge of tears and have about 7 break downs before I even step foot outside (not exaggerating one bit). I don't know what’s wrong with me! My energy, my optimism, my sense of humor...it’s gone! All of it! And it seems like the harder I try to be happy, the harder it gets! I don’t understand why I’m so miserable. Missions are supposed to fill you with joy, but I’ve never felt so downtrodden. They’re supposed to lift your spirits, but I’ve never felt so weighted down. Everyone always told me what an awesome missionary I’d be, what amazing things I’d do, how many lives I’d change. Those people would be so disappointed. So let down. I'm not even slightly good at being a missionary. I can’t muster up the courage to talk to people, can’t find the strength to correct other missionaries and can’t work up enough energy to labor as hard as I desire/ be the missionary I always envisioned myself being.

     Aside from my constant stream of tears, this week was great for many reasons. We had a lesson with one of the girls we met walking home from Bahnhoff last week! She brought a friend with her, which was AWESOME. Neither one of them were genuinely interested, but they were super sweet. Ha-ha their guy friend walking in during the lesson, shook my hand and said "Sister Terry? You’re really pretty" and then proceeded to invite me to a party he'll be throwing last month...So naturally, I told him the REAL party was the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and that he should join us next time we had a lesson. Boom baby.

     I have a new best friend. She's the branch president's 7 year old daughter. We made up a handshake, she drew me a picture of a cat AND she helped me learn my colors with the colored pencils she was using! I love her. She sat by me during sacrament meeting and got all cuddly AND I JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE HER BACK BUT MY NAME IS BROOKE TERRY AND I HAVE SELF CONTROL SO I DIDN'T :(

     A family from the ward invited us over for lunch yesterday! I HAD MY VERY FIRST HOME-COOKED GERMAN MEAL. And? IT WAS DELICIOUS.

Minus the mineral water.

That stuff is nasty.

     You want to know what’s worse than mineral water though? When your investigators don’t come to church. We're teaching this Brazilian lady who showed up at church the other week and asked for us missionaries to come teach her. I can’t remember if I already wrote ya'll about her...basically she wants to get baptized...but isn’t willing to move out with her boyfriend. So that’s a problem. Anyway, she was supposed to come to church, but texted us Saturday night & said she was too sick. Lame. I’ll keep you posted with that situation, for sure.

     Anyway, I gotta go. I miss ya'll like crazy. Really, you have no idea how badly I wish I were with you right now. Pray that I can stop being such a little Eeyore, please! Talk to you next week!

 -Sister Terry