Oh my goodness. I miss ya'll so much. In the MTC, I dreaded
P-days. They stressed me out and made me incredibly homesick. Here in the
field, however, they’re currently the only thing keeping me alive.
I'm not going to
lie, I’m struggling a lot right now. I just want to come home. I wake up each
morning on the verge of tears and have about 7 break downs before I even step
foot outside (not exaggerating one bit). I don't know what’s wrong with me! My
energy, my optimism, my sense of humor...it’s gone! All of it! And it seems
like the harder I try to be happy, the harder it gets! I don’t understand why I’m
so miserable. Missions are supposed to fill you with joy, but I’ve never felt
so downtrodden. They’re supposed to lift your spirits, but I’ve never felt so
weighted down. Everyone always told me what an awesome missionary I’d be, what
amazing things I’d do, how many lives I’d change. Those people would be so
disappointed. So let down. I'm not even slightly good at being a missionary. I can’t
muster up the courage to talk to people, can’t find the strength to correct
other missionaries and can’t work up enough energy to labor as hard as I
desire/ be the missionary I always envisioned myself being.
Aside from my
constant stream of tears, this week was great for many reasons. We had a lesson
with one of the girls we met walking home from Bahnhoff last week! She brought
a friend with her, which was AWESOME. Neither one of them were genuinely
interested, but they were super sweet. Ha-ha their guy friend walking in during
the lesson, shook my hand and said "Sister Terry? You’re really
pretty" and then proceeded to invite me to a party he'll be throwing last
month...So naturally, I told him the REAL party was the restored gospel of
Jesus Christ and that he should join us next time we had a lesson. Boom baby.
I have a new best
friend. She's the branch president's 7 year old daughter. We made up a
handshake, she drew me a picture of a cat AND she helped me learn my colors
with the colored pencils she was using! I love her. She sat by me during
sacrament meeting and got all cuddly AND I JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE HER BACK BUT
MY NAME IS BROOKE TERRY AND I HAVE SELF CONTROL SO I DIDN'T :(
A family from the
ward invited us over for lunch yesterday! I HAD MY VERY FIRST HOME-COOKED GERMAN
MEAL. And? IT WAS DELICIOUS.
Minus the mineral water.
That stuff is nasty.
You want to know what’s
worse than mineral water though? When your investigators don’t come to church.
We're teaching this Brazilian lady who showed up at church the other week and
asked for us missionaries to come teach her. I can’t remember if I already
wrote ya'll about her...basically she wants to get baptized...but isn’t willing
to move out with her boyfriend. So that’s a problem. Anyway, she was supposed
to come to church, but texted us Saturday night & said she was too sick. Lame.
I’ll keep you posted with that situation, for sure.
Anyway, I gotta go.
I miss ya'll like crazy. Really, you have no idea how badly I wish I were with
you right now. Pray that I can stop being such a little Eeyore, please! Talk to
you next week!
-Sister Terry
No comments:
Post a Comment