Oh my goodness. I miss ya'll so much. In the MTC, I dreaded P-days. They stressed me out and made me incredibly homesick. Here in the field, however, they’re currently the only thing keeping me alive.
I'm not going to lie, I’m struggling a lot right now. I just want to come home. I wake up each morning on the verge of tears and have about 7 break downs before I even step foot outside (not exaggerating one bit). I don't know what’s wrong with me! My energy, my optimism, my sense of humor...it’s gone! All of it! And it seems like the harder I try to be happy, the harder it gets! I don’t understand why I’m so miserable. Missions are supposed to fill you with joy, but I’ve never felt so downtrodden. They’re supposed to lift your spirits, but I’ve never felt so weighted down. Everyone always told me what an awesome missionary I’d be, what amazing things I’d do, how many lives I’d change. Those people would be so disappointed. So let down. I'm not even slightly good at being a missionary. I can’t muster up the courage to talk to people, can’t find the strength to correct other missionaries and can’t work up enough energy to labor as hard as I desire/ be the missionary I always envisioned myself being.
Aside from my constant stream of tears, this week was great for many reasons. We had a lesson with one of the girls we met walking home from Bahnhoff last week! She brought a friend with her, which was AWESOME. Neither one of them were genuinely interested, but they were super sweet. Ha-ha their guy friend walking in during the lesson, shook my hand and said "Sister Terry? You’re really pretty" and then proceeded to invite me to a party he'll be throwing last month...So naturally, I told him the REAL party was the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and that he should join us next time we had a lesson. Boom baby.
I have a new best friend. She's the branch president's 7 year old daughter. We made up a handshake, she drew me a picture of a cat AND she helped me learn my colors with the colored pencils she was using! I love her. She sat by me during sacrament meeting and got all cuddly AND I JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE HER BACK BUT MY NAME IS BROOKE TERRY AND I HAVE SELF CONTROL SO I DIDN'T :(
A family from the ward invited us over for lunch yesterday! I HAD MY VERY FIRST HOME-COOKED GERMAN MEAL. And? IT WAS DELICIOUS.
Minus the mineral water.
That stuff is nasty.
You want to know what’s worse than mineral water though? When your investigators don’t come to church. We're teaching this Brazilian lady who showed up at church the other week and asked for us missionaries to come teach her. I can’t remember if I already wrote ya'll about her...basically she wants to get baptized...but isn’t willing to move out with her boyfriend. So that’s a problem. Anyway, she was supposed to come to church, but texted us Saturday night & said she was too sick. Lame. I’ll keep you posted with that situation, for sure.
Anyway, I gotta go. I miss ya'll like crazy. Really, you have no idea how badly I wish I were with you right now. Pray that I can stop being such a little Eeyore, please! Talk to you next week!